Heather Graham on Why She's Glad She Never Had Children
Heather Graham revealed why she's glad she never had children, reflecting on her decision to opt out of motherhood and her family dynamic
Heather Graham is getting candid about never becoming a mom.
The 55-year-old actress, whose past relationships include the late Heath Ledger and James Woods, opened up about her thoughts on motherhood in a new interview with The Guardian published Monday, April 28.
âI think Iâve had moments where I wondered: what would it have been like if I had a kid? I guess I would say 80% of the time I feel glad I donât have kids, and I feel free and really good about it, and maybe 20% of the time I wonder what would it be like,â the Boogie Nights star said. âYou just have to appreciate the life you have.â
Graham added, âI do think itâs awesome now that more women are expressing their desire to not have kids. ⌠The culture says: âYou need to have kids.â But why? If youâre not being a people pleaser, what do you really want?â
Related: Celebrities Explain Why They Donât Want to Have Children
Miley Cyrus, Ashley Judd and more celebrities are adamant about not wanting to have children. âWeâre getting handed a piece-of-sât planet, and I refuse to hand that down to my child,â Cyrus told Elle in July 2019. âUntil I feel like my kid would live on an earth with fish in the water, Iâm not [âŚ]
The Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me actress has long been conscious of not people-pleasing. She hasnât spoken to her family in about 30 years, she said.
âI think I felt, as a younger person, that I couldnât really set boundaries with them that they would respect, so I wanted to explore that in the movie,â she said, referring to her latest film Chosen Family, which she also directed.
At around 17, Graham said she was offered a role in the hit 1988 black comedy Heathers, but her parents didnât let her take the part.
âMy parents vetoed it,â she said, revealing that she moved out of the family home shortly after. âI kind of became my own person and discovered: âWhat do I like? What do I want when Iâm not under this very judgmental, authoritarian, parental, patriarchal structure? What do I want to do? What do I think of this?ââ
Related: Heath Ledgerâs Dating History: Michelle Williams and More
Heath Ledger was involved in numerous high-profile relationships throughout his life. The Academy Award-winning actor spent several years and had a child with Brokeback Mountain costar Michelle Williams, but he was linked to Heather Graham and Naomi Watts earlier in his life. Ledger also had a brief romance with model Gemma Ward in the final [âŚ]
Graham said she ended contact with her parents and her sister â actress Aimee Graham â in her mid-20s.
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âMy fatherâs really religious, and they were, especially my father, very critical of everything I was doing,â the actress explained. âIt didnât feel like a healthy dynamic. I stopped talking to them and, I have to say, that was a huge relief. I felt like, at that moment, my life opened up with a freedom. I didnât need to please them.â
Over the years, Grahamâs family has tried to reach out to her, but she has yet to reconcile with them.
âThere was an effort made, but it was always very judgmental, like: âLet me give you the number of the priest and you can go to confession,ââ Graham said. âI just think weâre really different. They have a lot of great qualities â itâs just not a healthy dynamic for me.â
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