James Van Der Beek Reveals How Cancer Impacted Family as He Came "Nose to Nose" With Death - E! Online
In a birthday message, James Van Der Beek shared how his battle with colorectal cancer affected his wife and kids as he "had to look my own mortality in the eye."
Watch : James Van Der Beek Reflects on Coming "Nose to Nose" With Death Amid Cancer Battle
James Van Der Beek is reflecting on the hardest year of his life.
On his 48th birthday, the Dawson's Creek alum spoke out about how his battle with stage 3 colorectal cancer, which he first revealed last year, has affected his marriage toĀ Kimberly Van Der Beek as well as the lives of their six kidsāOlivia, 14, Joshua, 13, Annabel, 11, Emilia, 8, Gwendolyn, 6, Jeremiah, 2.
"Today's my birthday, and it has been the hardest year of my life," James said in a selfie video shared on his Instagram March 8. "When I was younger, I used to define myself as an actor, right Which was never really all that fulfilling. And then I became a husband, and that was much better. And then I became a father, and that was the ultimate."
The Varsity Blues star, who married Kimberly in 2010, continued, "I could define myself then as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on. And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition to the question, 'Who am I? What am I?' And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye."
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James Van Der Beek Shares Health Update After Cancer Diagnosis
James revealed last November that he was diagnosed with colorectal cancerĀ in 2023.
"I had to come nose to nose with death," he continued. "And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband that was helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working."
The actor, who lives with his family on a ranch near Austin, Texas, said he "couldn't even be a steward of the land" because he would sometimes be too weak to prune trees.
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James also thanked his fans for their support.
"As I move through this healing portal toward recovery, I wanted to share that with you because I think that revelation that came to me was due in no small part to all the prayers and the love that had been directed toward me. So I offer that to you, however it sits in your consciousness, however it resonatesārun with it."
"And so I was faced with the question," he continued, "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy alone in an apartment with cancer, what am I?"
Amid his health battle, James has leaned on support from his loved ones as well as his faith.
"I meditated and the answer came through," he said. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."
Instagram / James Van Der Beek
James also thanked his fans for their support.
"As I move through this healing portal toward recovery, I wanted to share that with you because I think that revelation that came to me was due in no small part to all the prayers and the love that had been directed toward me. So I offer that to you, however it sits in your consciousness, however it resonatesārun with it."
Instagram / James Van Der Beek
He continued, "And if the word 'God' trips you up, I certainly don't know, I can't claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger, it feels too religious, you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be, 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."
He added, "Thank you for the love and prayers, everyone. Have a blessed day."
Read on for more stars who have been candid about cancer battles...
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Gerry Turner
The former Golden Bachelor star shared in Dec. 2024 that he had been diagnosed with Waldenstrƶm's macroglobulinemia, a bone cancer.
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The former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star celebrated one year of being cancer-free in January. The mother of two was diagnosed with endometrial cancer back in 2013 and underwent a radical hysterectomy.
Then in 2017, Camille had surgery to remove Squamous Cell Carcinoma, a type of skin cancer.Ā
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Cobie Smulders
The Avengers: Age of Ultron actress battled ovarian cancer at the age of 25 and overcome odds when she welcomed two children with husband Taran Killam.
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Ewan McGregor
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Sheryl Crow
The singer beat breast cancer in 2004 with a "minimally invasive" lumpectomy and radiation therapy.
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Michael Douglas
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Edie Falco
The Emmy winner whacked breast cancer in 2004.
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Anderson Cooper
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Kylie Minogue
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Sharon Osbourne
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Robert De Niro
The Oscar winner took prostate cancer down, down to Chinatown, in 2003, and has been in about 400 movies since then.
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Robin Roberts
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Lance Armstrong
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Melissa Etheridge
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Julia Sweeney
The former Saturday Night Live standout mined her breast cancer battle for comedic material that turned into God Said Ha!, her successful one-woman show that eventually went to Broadway.
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Cynthia Nixon
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