James Van Der Beek Reveals How Cancer Impacted Family as He Came "Nose to Nose" With Death - E! Online
In a birthday message, James Van Der Beek shared how his battle with colorectal cancer affected his wife and kids as he "had to look my own mortality in the eye."
Watch : James Van Der Beek Reflects on Coming "Nose to Nose" With Death Amid Cancer Battle
James Van Der Beek is reflecting on the hardest year of his life.
On his 48th birthday, the Dawson's Creek alum spoke out about how his battle with stage 3 colorectal cancer, which he first revealed last year, has affected his marriage toĀ Kimberly Van Der Beek as well as the lives of their six kidsāOlivia, 14, Joshua, 13, Annabel, 11, Emilia, 8, Gwendolyn, 6, Jeremiah, 2.
"Today's my birthday, and it has been the hardest year of my life," James said in a selfie video shared on his Instagram March 8. "When I was younger, I used to define myself as an actor, right Which was never really all that fulfilling. And then I became a husband, and that was much better. And then I became a father, and that was the ultimate."
The Varsity Blues star, who married Kimberly in 2010, continued, "I could define myself then as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on. And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition to the question, 'Who am I? What am I?' And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye."
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James Van Der Beek Shares Health Update After Cancer Diagnosis
James revealed last November that he was diagnosed with colorectal cancerĀ in 2023.
"I had to come nose to nose with death," he continued. "And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband that was helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working."
The actor, who lives with his family on a ranch near Austin, Texas, said he "couldn't even be a steward of the land" because he would sometimes be too weak to prune trees.
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A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames)
James also thanked his fans for their support.
"As I move through this healing portal toward recovery, I wanted to share that with you because I think that revelation that came to me was due in no small part to all the prayers and the love that had been directed toward me. So I offer that to you, however it sits in your consciousness, however it resonatesārun with it."
"And so I was faced with the question," he continued, "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy alone in an apartment with cancer, what am I?"
Amid his health battle, James has leaned on support from his loved ones as well as his faith.
"I meditated and the answer came through," he said. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."
Instagram / James Van Der Beek
James also thanked his fans for their support.
"As I move through this healing portal toward recovery, I wanted to share that with you because I think that revelation that came to me was due in no small part to all the prayers and the love that had been directed toward me. So I offer that to you, however it sits in your consciousness, however it resonatesārun with it."
Instagram / James Van Der Beek
He continued, "And if the word 'God' trips you up, I certainly don't know, I can't claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger, it feels too religious, you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be, 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."
He added, "Thank you for the love and prayers, everyone. Have a blessed day."
Read on for more stars who have been candid about cancer battles...
Taylor Hill/WireImage
Gerry Turner
The former Golden Bachelor star shared in Dec. 2024 that he had been diagnosed with Waldenstrƶm's macroglobulinemia, a bone cancer.
"Unfortunately, there's no cure for it,ā Gerry noted to People at the time. āSo that weighs heavily in every decision I make. It was like 10 tons of concrete were just dropped on me. And I was a bit in denial for a while, I didn't want to admit to it.ā
Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images
Jim Beaver
The actor, known for roles inĀ The BoysĀ andĀ Supernatural, shared on Feb. 3, 2023, that he had battled prostate cancer for years and was cancer free.
Tommy Garcia/Bravo
Ariana Madix
"I had to have a lil bit o'cancer removed from my body and lymph nodes biopsied," theĀ Vanderpump Rules star revealed to fans at the close of 2018. "(In the clear now!)"
Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic
Marcia Cross
The Desperate Housewives star revealed to fans in September 2018 that she survived anal cancer. "After posting a picture of myself here and uttering the words #cancer and #hairloss, I feel liberated, deliriously free and completely me," she shared on Instagram.Ā
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Dustin Hoffman
The two-time Oscar winner underwent successful treatment for cancer, and his rep confirmed to E! News that doctors deemed Hoffman "surgically cured."
J.H. SAUNDERS/Landov
Hugh Jackman
The X-Men star was treated for his third basal cell carcinoma back in 2014, and after his third treatment, Jackman's rep told E! News that he's "all good" now.
In April 2023, Hugh had two biopsies for additional basal cell carcinoma. At the time, he told fans, "If I can just take this opportunity to remind you summer is coming for those of us in the northern hemisphere, please wear sunscreen."
Adam Olszweski/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank
Camille Grammer
The former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star celebrated one year of being cancer-free in January. The mother of two was diagnosed with endometrial cancer back in 2013 and underwent a radical hysterectomy.
Then in 2017, Camille had surgery to remove Squamous Cell Carcinoma, a type of skin cancer.Ā
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Cobie Smulders
The Avengers: Age of Ultron actress battled ovarian cancer at the age of 25 and overcome odds when she welcomed two children with husband Taran Killam.
Michael Buckner/Getty Images
Dr. Drew Pinsky
TV host reveals he underwent surgery for prostate cancer in July 2013 and has since been given a clean bill of health.
Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
Brooke Burke
The Dancing with the Stars cohost underwent successful surgery for thyroid cancer. The mother of fourĀ tweeted, "Thx for all the twitter love. I'm [home] recovering & resting."
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images
Angie Everhart
"MY DR CALLED ME ON A SAT. MORNING TO TELL ME I AM CANCER FREE!!!!! #wootothemotherf--kinhoo," the actress tweeted after receiving the good news.
Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Christina Applegate
The Up All Night star was declared "100-percent clear" of breast cancer after treatment and a double mastectomy.
Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images
Michael C. Hall
The Dexter star used a hiatus from his hit series to slay Hodgkin's lymphoma.
Michael Loccisano/Getty Images
Michelle Monaghan
The Australian actress revealed in October 2011 that she had a cancerous mole removed from her calf after her hubby encouraged her to get the suspicious-looking mark checked out.
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney
Ewan McGregor
The Scot is trainspotting just fine these days after having a cancerous mole removed from beneath his right eye.
Brad Barket/Getty Images for Happy Hearts Fund
Sheryl Crow
The singer beat breast cancer in 2004 with a "minimally invasive" lumpectomy and radiation therapy.
Grant Lamos IV/Getty Images
Michael Douglas
The Oscar winner declared in early 2011 that his tumor was gone and he had throat cancer "beat."
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images
Edie Falco
The Emmy winner whacked breast cancer in 2004.
Doug Meszler / Splash News
Anderson Cooper
Surely the CNN veteran wears his SPF when he's braving the elements now after having a cancerous growth removed from under his left eye in 2008.
Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImage
Kylie Minogue
The Australian pop star underwent successful surgery for breast cancer in 2005.
Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images
Barry Watson
The 7th Heaven star was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease when he was only 28. He's 50 now and looking good!
Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Maura Tierney
The ER fave had to abandon her role in Parenthood to fight breast cancer in 2009ābut her treatment was a success and she was back on the red carpet in no time.
CBS
Sharon Osbourne
The America's Got Talent judge was diagnosed with colon cancer while shooting The Osbournes in 2002 and used the opportunity to stress the importance of regular screenings while attacking the #@%! with chemotherapy. She was declared cancer-free the following year.
Jemal Countess/Getty Images for the 2014 Tribeca Film Festival
Robert De Niro
The Oscar winner took prostate cancer down, down to Chinatown, in 2003, and has been in about 400 movies since then.
Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Robin Roberts
The Good Morning America cohost proudly flaunted her smooth scalp while undergoing chemotherapy to treat breast cancer in 2007.
Robert Laberge/Getty Images
Lance Armstrong
The champion cyclist battled back from stage-four testicular cancer before winning seven straight Tour de France titles.
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
Melissa Etheridge
The Grammy and Oscar winner became an inspiring activist after a lumpectomy and chemotherapy cleared her of breast cancer in 2005.
Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty Images for LA Times
Julia Sweeney
The former Saturday Night Live standout mined her breast cancer battle for comedic material that turned into God Said Ha!, her successful one-woman show that eventually went to Broadway.
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images
Cynthia Nixon
The Sex and the City star was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006, and after surgery and radiation treatments, she was given the clear.
Mike FANOUS/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images
Samantha Harris
Harris underwent a double mastectomy after being diagnosed with breast cancer.
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