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Jon Stewart’s DOGE rage draws blood—literally
“Daily Show” host Jon Stewart accidentally sliced his hand during his opening monologue on Monday night. The incident happened as Stewart worked himself up over the horse manure being tossed ...
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“Daily Show” host Jon Stewart accidentally sliced his hand during his opening monologue on Monday night. The incident happened as Stewart worked himself up over the horse manure being tossed about by Elon Musk, his Department of Government Efficiency, and the GOP.
“We're not paying millions and millions of dead people Social Security money,” Stewart said, after walking through some of the many debunked conservative claims of waste, including the repeated lie that the U.S. is paying out millions of dollars to dead people and people who are 150 years old and older. “And even if there was a 200-year-old man walking around, he wouldn't need Social Security—he'd still be in Congress.”
Stewart then filled his desk with a bunch of items he called his “wannabe-an-accountant starter kit," in order to help DOGE find real waste in our government. He listed how much could be saved by nixing oil and gas subsidies and the carried-interest loophole on hedge funds, which benefits the ultrawealthy.
“I can't believe it. I just saved us billions of dollars in 11 seconds,” Stewart said. “Just call me big balls.”
Stewart called out moderate Democrats for not demanding that pharmaceutical companies—already heavily subsidized by our government—negotiate all of their drug prices with us, not just 10. Furious, Stewart slammed a mug, cutting his hand. He glanced at his hand, then promptly hid below his desk. “I'll be going to the hospital soon,” he said, with a smirk.
Undeterred by the injury, Stewart finished the segment by detailing how big businesses rely on government assistance for their workers, thereby avoiding paying them a living wage. He also highlighted how the airline industry used the U.S. government’s bailout to inflate their profits through stock buybacks.
“We are subsidizing the very system that makes workers' lives harder in the first place, all in the name of freedom and liberty” Stewart said. “But the greatest restriction of freedom in this country isn't DEI and pronoun pressure. It's fucking poverty and struggle.”
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YouTube VideoShortly before the episode aired, Stewart gave a preview of the injury on X, writing, “We’re back! New Daily Show tonight! It’s a bloody good episode…emphasis on bloody…I’m an idiot…”
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