Review: Roses are red, but the flat chemistry of 'Love Hurts' is a snooze
Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose are miscast as lovers and killers in a Valentine's Day action-comedy directed by one of the stunt coordinators of 'John Wick.'
“Love Hurts” is an action-romance that fizzles like a science-class volcano made of baking soda and cheese. The individual ingredients are fine: two killers on the run from punishment and their personal feelings for each other, played by Oscar winners Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose. But their chemistry is all wrong.
Quan stars as Marvin, a Milwaukee assassin who hung up his pistols to start selling luxury real estate. Some vague number of years ago, his gangster brother Knuckles (Daniel Wu) ordered Marvin to execute Rose (DeBose), his crush, for stealing $4 million. Marvin whiffed the assignment. Both went underground and changed careers: Rose tends bar, Marvin just won Regional Realtor of the Year. If you think it’s implausible that a local ex-hitman would paste his name and face on every bus stop in Wisconsin, just wait till you see Quan and DeBose kiss.
Rose resurfaces, goons give chase, mayhem ensues. The slugfest is by first-time filmmaker Jonathan Eusebio, a stunt coordinator for “The Fall Guy” and “Black Panther.” (“John Wick” director David Leitch’s company 87North produced the film.) Eusebio is a fighter, not a lover. He keeps Quan busily bludgeoning bad guys — including Cam Gigandet’s Merlo — with whatever weapon he has handy: pencils, staple removers, soda cans, laptops. At a mere 83 minutes, the movie’s pace is too enthusiastic to appreciate the choreography. Look close — Quan even uses cookie cutters like brass knuckles.
Ariana DeBose in the movie “Love Hurts.”
(Allen Fraser / Universal Pictures)
Similarly the script (by Matthew Murray, Josh Stoddard and Luke Passmore) grabs at anything that might work. The hook is that this showdown is taking place on Valentine’s Day, although the plotting is so loosey-goosey that, for absolutely no reason, people take a nap and the climax doesn’t happen until the evening of Feb. 15. There’s a shot of a burlesque dancer dressed like Cupid, but overall you hear as much talk about siblings as you do sweethearts. The only genuinely emotional moment comes when Sean Astin, as Marvin’s civilian-world mentor, beams that he loves having him over — for Thanksgiving? Otherwise, Valentine’s Day is unrecognizable whenever the film starts explaining its thematic resonance. Rose goes on and on about freedom — a word more associated with divorce — while Marvin says that it’s a day about “the expectation of the unexpected.” Does he mean April Fools’ Day?
The first half hour is strong enough that “Love Hurts” almost earns the benefit of the doubt. When it still has energy to impress us, the style is snappy and crisp with shock edits and interesting visual choices. During the second major brawl, cinematographer Bridger Nielson sticks the camera in a microwave, then a fridge. Brutality cuts through the heavy-handed comedy. Here, the sets are either packed with colors and neon or decorated with inspirational quotes that read, “Love Lives Here.” I groaned to see a giant fork and spoon mounted on the kitchen wall of one of Marvin’s for-sale properties, then smiled when the silverware got ripped down and repurposed as jousting weapons.
Quan’s Marvin claims that being a Realtor is the real him: a happy, kindly sweater vest-clad dork who in no universe seems like he could have a corpse count longer than his recipe for Crock-Pot stew. The film doesn’t attempt to fit these two halves of his personalty together. Past Marvin had a mustache, hair pomade and cold eyes — that’s as much deep psychology as we get. Yet, even as an implausible cartoon, Quan is so endearing that when, early on, he gets a knife driven through his hand, we’re shocked — it’s like watching a teddy bear get tortured. He’s so battered by the end of the first act that you can’t imagine how this wreck will get through the movie.
Eusebio has fun with his leading man’s diminutive size. At his full height, Quan seems barely taller than some foes on their knees. The best fight scene is a three-way brawl between Marvin and two strongmen, King (Marshawn Lynch) and Otis (André Eriksen), who flip him around their backs, toss him over their heads and fling him into furniture. (Marvin should hire these guys as sign-spinners for his next open house.) Lynch, a treat after his memorable cameo in “Bottoms,” calls Marvin a “spider monkey ninja god.” The former NFL running back (and co-host of California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s podcast) earns the only real laughs in the comedy. Other jokes get a mild smile.
Nothing makes sense. During the final fight scene, it’s impossible to explain the characters’ motivations without an eye roll. Wu’s crime head is suave, but the main memorable thing about him is he likes to sip boba in slow motion. Bold yet insubstantial, “Love Hurts” insecurely asks the score to do too much work, pounding away at a funky spy track before unconvincingly pivoting to something sincere.
Worse are Marvin and Rose’s tacked-on inner monologues about their thwarted passions for each other that only serve to make it more obvious what’s not actually on screen. If it weren’t for Marvin’s voice-over insisting that he loves Rose, the idea that these characters could hook up would never cross your mind. Neither actor really tries to surmount their 20-year age gap. Next to Quan’s blast of charm, DeBose’s character has more maturity. Striding confidently through the movie, she seems like she could swallow him whole. Dialogue tip: When your romantic twosome is this miscast, don’t underline the issue by having one of them say, “Make me believe it.”
At least there’s a secondary couple played by Mustafa Shakir and Lio Tipton. He’s a gothy poetry-scribbling butcher nicknamed the Raven; she’s Marvin’s depressive assistant, Ash. They don’t make any sense either, but they at least look at each other’s faces with genuine fascination, trying to salvage this misfire like an air mattress under Evel Knievel. The Raven and Ash spend most of the running time siloed away from the action, with Eusebio cutting back to them whenever he needs a jolt of flirtation. When they finally barge back into the main plot, Ash chirps, “Find something you love and go after it.” She’s not joking, but my theater burst into guffaws.
The fight for control of the House of Representatives in the 2026 midterm elections will be fought on a limited battlefield, a leading nonpartisan political handicapper predicts.
Read more >> : Cick here
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Hugh Jackman reportedly plans to "marry" his girlfriend, Sutton Foster, two years after his split from his wife Deborra-Lee Furness.
Read more >> : Cick here
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
HOLLYWOOD, FLA. (WSVN) - A crash involving a tractor-trailer in Hollywood sent one person to the hospital and caused major traffic delays.Florida Highway Patrol andRead More
Read more >> : Cick here
|
|
|
|
 - A crash involving a tractor-trailer in Hollywood sent one person to the hospital and caused major traffic delays.Florida Highway Patrol andRead More %23actor) |
|
|
Holland Taylor will star opposite Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson in the duo's upcoming comedy series at Apple TV+, Variety has learned.
Read more >> : Cick here
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Mads Mikkelsen is one of the key actors who emerged from the Dogme 95 movement, and his performance in 'Open Hearts' remains timeless.
Read more >> : Cick here
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Alex Russell's "Lurker," a dark Hollywood satire, has sold U.S. distribution rights to Mubi.
Read more >> : Cick here
|
|
|
|
 Alex Russell's ) |
|
|
The Kansas City Chiefs have released their second injury report leading to the Super Bowl, and one wide receiver could be in danger of missing the big game.
Read more >> : Cick here
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
)
The Indian actress captivated everyone with her dazzling ensemble at the traditional Mehendi ceremony in Mumbai
Read more >> : Cick here
|
|
|
|
&description=Priyanka Chopra pairs haute couture with a €1.5 million necklace during brother’s pre-wedding The Indian actress captivated everyone with her dazzling ensemble at the traditional Mehendi ceremony in Mumbai %23actress) |
|
|
While covering New York Comic Con 2024, I had the chance to speak with Drop director Chris Landon and star Meghann Fahy after the Blumfest panel. The thriller will be released in theaters on April …
Read more >> : Cick here
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Liam Payne's girlfriend Kate Cassidy, 25, has spoken out for the first time after the One Direction star died last year.
Read more >> : Cick here
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Twitter (X), Inc. was an American social media company based in San Francisco, California, which operated and was named for its flagship social media network prior to its rebrand as X. In addition to Twitter, the company previously operated the Vine short video app and Periscope livestreaming service
Twitter (X) is one of the most popular social media platforms, with over 619 million monthly active users worldwide. One of the most exciting features of Twitter (X) is the ability to see what topics are trending in real-time. Twitter trends are a fascinating way to stay up to date on what people are talking about on the platform, and they can also be a valuable tool for businesses and individuals to stay relevant and informed. In this article, we will discuss Twitter (X) trends, how they work, and how you can use them to your advantage.
What are Twitter (X) Worldwide Trends?
Twitter (X) Worldwide trends are a list of topics that are currently being talked about on the platform and also world. The topics on this list change in real-time and are based on the volume of tweets using a particular hashtag or keyword. Twitter (X) Worldwide trends can be localized to a Worldwide country or region or can be global, depending on the topic's popularity.
How Do Twitter (X) Worldwide Trends Work?
Twitter (X) Worldwide trends are generated by an algorithm that analyzes the volume of tweets using a particular hashtag or keyword. When the algorithm detects a sudden increase in tweets using a specific hashtag or keyword, it considers that topic to be trending.
Once a topic is identified as trending, it is added to the list of Twitter (X) Worldwide trends. The topics on this list are ranked based on their popularity, with the most popular topics appearing at the top of the list.
Twitter (X) Worldwide trends can be filtered by location or category, allowing users to see what topics are trending in their area or in a particular industry. Additionally, users can click on a trending topic to see all of the tweets using that hashtag or keyword.