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The worst thing that ever happened to The Beatles
The Beatles may have universal appeal, but that doesn't mean that everything they've been associated with is golden by comparison.
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(Credits: Far Out / Apple Corps / Universal Pictures)
Music » Features » Music Opinion
Wed 12 February 2025 21:00, UK
Anyone wanting to cover The Beatles needs to take a long look in the mirror and ask themselves if they can do it. This is the biggest rock band that the world has ever seen, and even if they arenât creating a biopic or anything, using their music in a movie can be a perfect addition to any scene. If weâre talking about Beatles songs that have been chewed up and spit out, though, the 1970s movie Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band may as well be a slaughterhouse.
But itâs not like the filmâs heart wasnât in the right place. The world had already become interested in the rock opera being brought to the big screen, and since The Whoâs Tommy had gone over well, the next logical step should have been reserving room for Englandâs most beloved rock act to have some room as well.
Then again, the beauty of the Sgt Pepper album was that the plot was never really there. Outside of the opening song and the reprise at the end, each track on the record was about trying to paint a picture of psychedelia rather than capture a specific concept across its runtime. And while the film does adhere to that by featuring other songs from across The Beatlesâ career, a good idea and blind faith isnât all it takes to make a great movie.
There are a few standout moments, like Aerosmith showing up for âCome Togetherâ and Earth Wind and Fire doing a funky-as-hell cover of âGot To Get You Into My Lifeâ, but those are subtle vignettes in a complete trash story. Since most of the film is original content, we follow the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton as the titular Lonely Hearts Club Band as they get up to various shenanigans after getting a record deal and fight villains that are against rock and roll.
While the greedy side of the villainâs plotline is already a half-hearted jab at record labels, any chance of defeating them with these songs is like David trying to conquer Goliath with a feather for a sword. The disco-fied takes on tracks like âOh Darlingâ all but neuter the original versions, and even if they were trying to fit in with the times, âI Want You (Sheâs So Heavy)â feels like it had all of the angst and bluesy swagger sapped out of it.
(Credits: Far Out / Apple Corps)And when they actually bother to think outside the box for some interpretations, itâs far from the kind of message people would want to hear. âWhen Iâm 64â may not have been the best song that Paul McCartney ever wrote, but did it have to be part of a sequence where an older man is creeping on the female heartthrob of the film, Strawberry Fields? Also, who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to take The Beatlesâ greatest vocal showcase, âBecauseâ, and have Alice Cooper recreate it to sound like some hit of bad acid?
Compared to most music biopics that donât work out, though, Sgt Peppers is the one movie that actually makes the original songs hard to go back to. A song like âGood Morning Good Morningâ was already not that great of a song, but hearing the Gibb brothers sing their hearts out and make it sound even more irritating is enough for people to give up on listening to the original.
And whatâs even more sad is the amount of Beatles connective tissue that the movie has connected to it. âGet Backâ may have benefited from having Billy Prestonâs gorgeous keyboard lines on it, but seeing him sing his own version of the tune is nothing but cringey in the filmâs climax, and the real tragedy comes when you realise that George Martin had to put this on his resume for being the musical director of the project.
As for The Beatles themselves, some of them have denounced the film if theyâve said anything at all, with George Harrison saying that the Bee Gees damaged their careers by starring in it. Even if there is some fine craftsmanship behind some of the covers, the amount of digging that most people have to do to find them isnât worth it when slogging through the rest of the stinkers on here.
The Beatles deserve to have their music represented in the best light that they can, but in terms of raw execution, this is the best case that younger generations have for why the Fab Four sound so boring today. Sure, songs in 1965 arenât going to sound the same to people in 2025, but if this was all we had to commemorate historyâs greatest band, thereâs a good chance that the band would have been read their last rites ages ago.
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