Tim Lambesis' wife Dany speaks out after more videos of disturbing behaviour emerge
Tim Lambesis' wife Dany has spoken out after more videos of disturbing behaviour involving the As I Lay Dying singer emerged online.
Tim Lambesis’ wife Dany has spoken out after more videos of disturbing behaviour involving the As I Lay Dying singer emerged online.
Back in November, Lambesis spoke out after videos showing tense altercations with his wife circulated online.
The two clips initially surfaced on social media and appeared to show Lambesis and his wife Dany arguing.
In one video, Lambesis is seen flipping a table his wife was sitting at. Then, as she gets up to walk away, he attempts to intercept her and repeatedly punches himself while she asks him to stop. Another video seems to show the couple in a bedroom having an argument although the video contained no audio.
He responded in November, accusing his wife of domestic violence and alleging that she timed “these public attacks” after he served her with divorce papers.
In a statement shared to Instagram, the singer wrote: “There is currently a restraining order and a domestic violence investigation being filed against Dany Norris (formerly Lambesis). Anything she is saying now is to distract people away from that to instead focus on my own inappropriate (but not illegal) reactions to these anxiety inducing interactions.
“This woman assaulted me and verbally/mentally abused me over three years,” he alleged. “I took the much needed and overdue step to leave her yesterday by delivering divorce papers. That is the reason there have been attempts at retaliation toward me online today that pale in comparison to what will really be the focus of the courts.”
Tim Lambesis of As I Lay Dying performs during the 2012 Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival. (Photo by Joey Foley/Getty Images)Another clip has since surfaced of Lambesis where he appears to mistreat a dog. The 30-second clip shows two separate instances of Lambesis upset with the dog including one where he appears to kick the dog. He then appears to strike the dog before seemingly threatening the animal with closed fists.
NME has reached out to representatives of Lambesis for comment about the clip.
Now, Lambesis’ wife Dany has responded to the leaked clips saying she is not behind them and has asked the person behind them to stop doing so.
She had also issued a statement previously calling rumours of abuse allegations against Lambesis as “completely false” but now, in a new statement on Instagram, claims her original statement was drafted by “managers” trying to protect Lambesis’ image.
The statement reads: “I did not release the videos that have come out of Tim Lambesis. Not the ones that were released in November, nor the ones that were released today. Out of respect for me, I’m asking whoever is leaking videos to please stop.
“I will no longer stay silent out of fear of Tim. The lies being told by him in his last statement and in this recent podcast are deliberate attempts to cover up the truth and play the victim, using typical DARVO tactics,” she continues, referencing the acronym for ‘deny, attack, reverse victim and offender’, which is known as a technique abusers use to shift responsibility for an abusive incident onto the victim of abuse.
The statement continued: “There was NEVER a domestic violence investigation against me, nor was there ever a restraining order placed against me. This is public information anyone can access online.”
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She then goes onto address claims that her husband made in his initial statement, saying he had evidence of domestic abuse against his wife.
In his statement at the time, he claimed to have “multiple videos” of Dany assaulting him, chasing him with “a knife or scissors”, and asking him to delete footage of her physically assaulting him while threatening further violence.
He also alleges he has photos of a black eye Dany gave him, as well as witnesses that can attest to physical violence threats if he attempted to leave the relationship.
Dany went on to directly address this today, adding: “The videos that Tim claims to have of me “abusing” him; are instances of self-defence and outbursts against his ongoing physical and mental abuse, and repeated infidelity with hundreds of people.
“The statement I released on October 24th defending his abuse, was drafted up by him and his new ‘managers’ to protect his career and public image. Which I have proof of.
“Tim has continuously tried to intimidate me, bribe me, and beg me to sign an NDA in our marriage settlement stating that I will never publicly talk about him, so that the truth will be buried when our divorce is finalised, which are all recorded conversations. I also have a recorded phone call from Tim a week ago, rationalising, and explaining why he thinks we should get back together.
“I refuse to let dishonesty overshadow the pain and trauma I have endured any longer. Not just to me, but to others close to this as well. This isn’t just about me anymore. There is Tim’s version of why his ex band mates left AILD, and then there is the truth. There is no “irony” behind the timing of the dissolution of AILD, and our marriage.
“Towards the end of our relationship, Tim told me, ‘In psychology, when someone hears a story of abuse in a relationship from one person, they are more likely to believe that person’s version because they were the first to tell the story.’ At the time, I didn’t fully understand what he meant, but it is very clear to me now. The abusive, cheating, narcissist will try to destroy your life & your name with lies before you can shine light on the truth. I am done being SILENT.”
NME has reached out to representatives of Lambesis for comment about the statement.
Tim Lambesis. CREDIT: Frank Hoensch/RedfernsIt comes after months of As I Lay Dying making headlines, after bassist Ryan Neff, guitarist Ken Susi and drummer Nick Pierce – all of whom joined the band in 2022 – announced in October that they were quitting, citing “personal morals”.
That was then followed by the departure of guitarist Phil Sgrosso, who had been part of the San Diego metalcore group since 2003, leaving Lambesis as the sole remaining member. At the time, Sgrosso said the departures were due to the band no longer offering “a healthy or safe environment for anyone involved – whether creatively, personally, or professionally. After witnessing some concerning patterns of behaviour, I’ve realised that I can no longer, in good conscience, enable further actions that could negatively affect anyone working within this space.”
Then, last November, Lambesis’s side project Austrian Death Machine lost their drummer Brandon Short, who announced his departure on Instagram writing: “For the sake of my mental well-being and personal beliefs, and in light of the recent developments surrounding the As I Lay Dying camp and Tim, this has become an inevitable step for me.”
Short continued: “The repeated promises, the endless cycle of ‘I’ll do better’ – words that once gave me hope – have turned into a broken record that has brought no real change. Instead, I found myself trapped in a pattern that eroded my trust and my well-being. This cycle has reached into my personal life, affecting my mental health in ways I can no longer ignore.”
Lambesis was previously sentenced to six years in prison for plotting to kill his ex-wife back in 2014. He pleaded guilty to paying a police officer posing as a hitman $1,000 (£630) to kill his then-wife, Meggan Lambesis. After being released in December 2016, Lambesis took to the band’s official Facebook page to post a lengthy statement, “apologising to everyone” for his actions.
The vocalist then reunited with the San Diego band in 2018, who released their first new song in six years with ‘My Own Grave’ and announced details of a homecoming show that summer. Longtime guitarist Nick Hipa would leave the band in 2020, with drummer Jordan Mancino and bassist Josh Gilbert following suit in 2022.
For help, support and advice regarding domestic abuse, visit Refuge here or call the freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
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