Hubby Feared He Would Repeat His Father’s Mistakes, And He Cries After His Son’s Gender Reveal. Now His Emotional Retreat Has Ended Up Straining His Marriage.
Being a good parent isn’t about avoiding mistakes — it’s about learning from them.
Gender reveals are supposed to be exciting, but sometimes they bring out unexpected emotions.
What was supposed to be a happy occasion for one couple ended in one father-to-be’s tears as an unresolved fear from the past took center stage.
Read on for the full story.
My wife (31F) and I (30M) were having a gender reveal for our first child.
My wife doesn’t mind what gender the baby is; she just wanted to get a few friends and family together for a small party, and she was under the impression that I thought that too.
Neither of us were interested in doing anything big, so we just had a friend read out the letter and reveal the gender.
But after the big reveal, he was hit with a wave of unexpected emotions.
I didn’t tell my wife this, but I was really hoping for a daughter instead of a son.
So when it was revealed that we’ll be having a boy, it really upset me.
I didn’t want to ruin the day, though, so I just tried to act normal and celebrate with my wife and the family.
It all came to a head when he had a moment alone.
Later on, after everyone had left, I was alone in our room while my wife was downstairs.
I was sitting on the bed and just started crying.
I don’t often cry; I think it’s a waste of my time and unnecessary, but I was just really panicking.
He knows exactly where this reaction comes from.
I really wanted a daughter because my dad was really crappy to me, and he messed me up a lot.
I’m scared that I will be the same to my son.
I don’t want to mess my son up like my dad did to me.
I’ve been scared about turning into my dad since before I met my wife.
The big reason I didn’t want kids originally was in case I treated them like my dad treated me.
But his wife wasn’t too happy to find him in this state.
My wife walked in on me crying, and I tried to explain why without talking about my dad much (she doesn’t know anything about what my dad was like).
Now the two are on the outs.
She told me that I was selfish and called me a few other things.
Then, she told me to sleep on the couch.
She hasn’t really been the same with me since; she’s still really annoyed.
AITA?
The hardest battles can often come from within, as this prospective father is quickly learning.
What did Reddit have to say?
This commenter doesn’t find this father-to-be malicious, but there is some serious work that needs to be done as soon as possible.
The road ahead may be hard, but there are several concrete steps he can take right away to improve his outlook.
Child/parent relationships aren’t nearly as gendered as this father-to-be thinks.
It’s the lack of communication that upset his wife — not the act of breaking down about it.
This father-to-be may have been blindsided by his own fears, but there’s a bright path to healing that lies ahead — that is, if he’s willing to take it.
With time and understanding, this father can come to realize that being a good parent isn’t about avoiding mistakes — it’s about learning from them.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.
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